Festive Meal Planners T-Shirts

Chicken Little's Cousin, Turkey Little: 'The Axe is falling! The axe is falling!'

Santa Claus's Mail

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Turkey Autopsy

Panettone

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

Pinata good bags.

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

Because of bad weather and lots of people moving slowly on the path, it took forever to get here! Everybody was picking up a pumpkin on Wednesday. There was a huge crowd and long lines at the pumpkin patch. My brother and I can't be seated together today. We'd argue and disagree about who should run the village council. After this huge meal nobody's gonna want to stick around and clean up this mess! If they're still having this celebration centuries from now, I'm sure they'll have worked i

Making Christmas Pudding.

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Suddenly, the line went dead.

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

Santa School.

"Perhaps we should have postponed our downsizing operation until after the Xmas party."

"Wow, the literary life is exhausting! Just when I finish 'What I Did On My Summer Vacation,' I need to begin my 'What I Want For Christmas' list!"

Thanksgiving in Antarctica.

"Good Christmas?"

Catering for a large family.

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

Large man uses 'Fat Nav' to lead him to large Christmas pudding.

'What are you doing here? It's only November.'

Halloween next exit. . . Thanksgiving, 27 days. . . Christmas, 54 days.