Festive Family Chaos Lover Gifts

To determine whose house they would spend Christmas at, Mark and Barb had their parents hold a tandem wrestling match.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

The Family Joules: Part 16

Family with pets.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"I need to know who started it."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'Dad won't buy me a puppy, so I'm teaching him to bark!'

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'Let's get this party started!'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

'Found her. Keeping her.'

"Normally things don't get me down. But lately, just getting out of bed has been difficult."

'Separate vacations - four of 'em!'

"Honey have you seen my phone? I can't find it anywhere...I swear I left it on the coffee table but now it's gone..."

'You were the one who said you'd like him to bring some of his friends home. . .'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

'We need another refrigerator, Mom.'

"I'm afraid I can't do anything unless you have a receipt."

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

'Surprise!'

Santa's Problem

"Honey, all we want is what's quiet for us."

Nerve-racking Chanukah moments

"I'm glas my dad made me mow the lawn. I found 2 phones, 6 phone chargers and a headset in the grass."

"I thought I told you two to stop horsing around in here."

Being the most famous reindeer of all has finally gone to Rudolph's head...

Insurance claim on Grandma

"If he's a little bundle of joy, shouldn't he be laughing?"