Festive Entertainer Gifts

"The knees are the first to go."

'Well done Mellisa. You've made a great spread for the office Christmas party.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Christmas Presents.

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Five

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Santa's Party Trick - mishap with decoration juggling.

'Oh, Christ.'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

A feminist Christmas.

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

Knight before Christmas

"Don't even think about it."

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!