Fence-jumping Pup Gifts

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

'Bad dog, stop doing the crossword.'

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

Puppy and Kitten.

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

'Okay, okay! You can have a lick of my sucker.'

In the dog park

"I don’t want to ‘fetch’ – I want to practice entertainment law."

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

"Jimmy Choo, Mahnolo Blahnik- honestly can't taste the difference."

'Doing tricks is a slippery slope.'

'My, my, don't we look fetching.'

Dogs getting married have puppies carry their tails.

"Take it easy back there!"

"Take this stuffed rabbit and chase it twice a day."

'Don't tell me, your human volunteered you to be in the annual Christmas play.'

'Oh, so you do keep track of where you bury things.'

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

"Don't worry, he won't hurt you intentionally."

Man Tries To Teach Horse To Jump.

"How 'bout a goodnight sniff?"

Dog receives an electric shock from an electrical fire hydrant.

'Mum! Next door's puppy is over in our garden again!'

"Oh, come on, Honey, he's a dog...he's not gonna notice that we gave him cheaper dog food!"