Fence Fixer-upper Gifts

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

The Upholstery Consultant

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

Well paid job

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

Chainsaw and Chair

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'

"Do you want to try and put the air conditioner in together or stay married?"