Fence Fixer-upper Gifts

Hello, Agatha. You wanted to see me? What was my son-in-law doing down the street? I was installing a deer fence for Mrs. Quiver. Thanks a lot. Do you have a problem with my work? As a matter of fact

Be careful with those, Ernie. I don't understand it, but I heard privacy can be compromised if we're not careful with our posts.

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

The Upholstery Consultant

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

Rancher builds fence around angry bull.

Well paid job

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

"Do you want to try and put the air conditioner in together or stay married?"

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'