Fixer-upper Gifts

Plumber plugging a hole and trying to reach a valve.

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'Oops-sie.' (Car jacked through the ceiling).

That should keep it from overflowing again. Now, if you'll just sign the work order, I'll be on my way.

Boy, are you in the wrong bar.

'It's not just a funny noise, ma'am, it's a very expensive funny noise.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'I'm in the right road. What number did you say it was?'

Jungle Plumber.

Well paid job

Nail Ambush

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

The Upholstery Consultant

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.