Buying A Fixer-upper Gifts

"You too the first step: you bought a run-down shack in an up-and-coming location. Now you need to rehab it and get it sold."

"Loaning me your tool box was not exactly what I had in mind."

Paint stripping using a blowtorch can be a risky business...

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

The Upholstery Consultant

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

Well paid job

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

A Tax Auditor Prescribes Treatment For A Doctor's Condition

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"