Female Boss Gifts

'Okay, so if I'm able to empty this beer can with one gulp and then squash it with one hand, you'll be willing to work overtime today. Deal?'

"The trouble is with skiving, you never know when you're finished."

"You say it's a man's world. Well in that case you can clean it!"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Looks like another day in which. . . I have to run the world, the country, the business and the household!!!

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Golfing Boss

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

Sign - Halt manager crossing