Female Professional Gifts

'At least! I get to find out what's above the glass ceiling!'

"They praised my academic work....it was clear I lacked two essential qualifications...Testicles!"

'We all have to maintain our personal boundaries. I'm prepared to maintain mine with pepper spray.'

See here, Miss Widley -- what's this I hear about you working through your lunch hour instead of sunbathing on the roof?

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Leadership suits you

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Supermom.

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"I'm sorry, Walter, but I need room to write."

Loyalty Award

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

Professional woman in pub

'They're a very successful family.'

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"I want to work from home!"

"How she's able to manage a career and still juggle her family, I'll never know."

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

'I will never cease to be amazed at how deftly she balances the demands of career and family.'

"I'm not the ruthless guy everyone says I am, but that's my goal."

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."