Female Executive Gifts

"Do you ever worry that you've had to sacrifice your femininity to succeed?"

Leadership suits you

'I'm writing an article about intuition of women in business.' - 'Just as I thought.'

'Exactly what are you getting at, Ms. Newborn, when you say 'patriarchy' in that tone of voice?'

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

'Oh, the corner office is great. The sunlight's great for my plants.'

'Good meeting, gentlemen, except for the sports metaphors.'

'Your resum? looks familiar, weren't we married once?'

Welcome to the Glass Cliff

'My husband's first name? Just give me a hint.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

"...With women in top management, companies may fare better in the vertical marketplace."

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Occu-Pie Mars

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'