Female Boss Pillows

'Okay, so if I'm able to empty this beer can with one gulp and then squash it with one hand, you'll be willing to work overtime today. Deal?'

"The trouble is with skiving, you never know when you're finished."

"You say it's a man's world. Well in that case you can clean it!"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Looks like another day in which. . . I have to run the world, the country, the business and the household!!!

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Golfing Boss

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Working hours.

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"I can motivate everyone except myself."