Feline Historians Gifts

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

The practical psychopath

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

Diving Cat.

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

"So who is this First pet?"

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

Portrait of a Lady

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

"Do you think he's in a coma?"

Dog History

"Wait, Carl, come back, this one is definitely about you."

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

My Bowl Is Empty.

"I really appreciate this."

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

'I bought one and got one free! Best of all, they're both pregnant.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

'Well it's about time! My belly needs scratching.'