Literary Felines Gifts

The saying of Chairman Meow.

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

The practical psychopath

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

PET THEORIES

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'Hard to follow...'

'Don't look at me!'

'Show one more kitten photo,lady and the next time you see me will be on a 'missing' poster!'

'Cat Lit. You?'

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"How do I get down?"

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

Cat with Crown.

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

New, Improved Cat

"My one regret is not napping more."

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

"If you're looking to adopt a dog that's good with cats, may I suggest Ruffus."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

Cat with all the hair he has ever shed

'. . . I can see why people might believe in reincarnation but if you're already a cat - what's the point?!'

"The human is back - act normal."