Cat Biographer Gifts

"I'm writing my eighth memoir."

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

Cat with Crown.

Pet Hobbies

"To stay in or not to stay in...."

"John, the story isn't bad but leave those cat picture."

"Good luck with your interview. And remember, they can't discriminate based on how many lives you have left."

"Making a documentary about a week in the life of a cat has proved to be less challenging than I anticipated."

“Putty took a wife. Her name was Possums, and she bore him Little Gentleman, Biddy Boo, Savor Tooth, Fluffy, Harry Cat, and Cesar. Then Little Gentleman begat Little Gentleman II and Friday and Tinkle Toes and Possum Tail and…”

Perusing The Bookshelves For Cute Cats

"I guess I could include the box... But why would you want it, Mr. Schrödinger?"

"Is that all you can think about?"

"She laid her outfit for tonight's party on the bed this morning, right where I usually nap! Now, she's mad because I've shed hair all over it. . ."

"When I was your age, I had to trudge 20 feet through thick shag carpet to a scratching post!"

Man films uses phone camera. Woman says: 'I fail to see how filming the cat makes you a citizen journalist.'

101 uses of a dead cat: bookmark.

101 uses of a dead cat: gun

CATNIP!

'And to my nephew, Rodney, I bequeath my entire estate of cats.'

"You've got nine lives? Well then, you're going to need nine life insurance policies!"

Allergic to cats bookstore.

Trump Goes A Step Too Far!

"Dolly --Gregory Strong, author of 'A World History of Cats.' Need I say more?"

"Tell him I'll pay! On my Mother's nine lives I swear I'll pay!!"

Cat Book Club

I'll thank you to cover your mouth when you cough.

But you always said you enjoyed my cat stories.