Feline Historians Pillows

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

The practical psychopath

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

Diving Cat.

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

"So who is this First pet?"

Portrait of a Lady

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

The Cat's Alarm Clock

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

"Wait, Carl, come back, this one is definitely about you."

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

Dog History

"Do you think he's in a coma?"

My Bowl Is Empty.

'Well it's about time! My belly needs scratching.'

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

'I bought one and got one free! Best of all, they're both pregnant.'

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."

'Cats. They want in, they go over the numbers, they want out.'

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

"I really appreciate this."

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat