Feline Entertainer Gifts

"Favorable meow"

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"She's all over YouTube."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'Now cut that out!'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

'Isn't he sweet - he got down all by himself!'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

Great mouser!

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

Cats the musical

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

Kitty Litter

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

'I know how you love empty boxes.'

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"This place is still warm from the dryer and centrally located near several mouse holes."

"If you fits, you sits!"

'He doesn't like the animals to get bored.'

"Do you have larger takeout boxes? We promised the cat something to play in."

"'Meow' and 'Purr'? It isn't clever and it isn't funny."