Animal Entertainer Gifts

'He doesn't like the animals to get bored.'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

The Rooster Comedian.

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Hats and Food

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Scuba cow"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

No jay walking.

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

'Cat job interviews.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...