Animal Entertainer Gifts

'He doesn't like the animals to get bored.'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

The Rooster Comedian.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'Cat job interviews.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'