Feline Entertainer T-Shirts

"Favorable meow"

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"She's all over YouTube."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Now cut that out!'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

'Isn't he sweet - he got down all by himself!'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

Great mouser!

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

Cats the musical

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

Fetching, rolling over, playing dead, sitting up

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

'I know how you love empty boxes.'

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

Kitty Litter

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"If you fits, you sits!"

"This place is still warm from the dryer and centrally located near several mouse holes."

Dog makes Balloon People

'He doesn't like the animals to get bored.'

Then you go over me … I go around you … and ta-da! A double fisherman's bend! Next-level leash knot.