Cat Entertainer T-Shirts

'Isn't he sweet - he got down all by himself!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Cat Reunion

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"Projectile hairballing."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Now cut that out!'

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"I hate it..."

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

The Curiosity Mars rover is seen killing a cat: 'Mission accomplished.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon