Feline Alibi Funniest Pillows

'Look, no matter what happens, if anybody asks, I was here with you the whole night.'

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"She's all over YouTube."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"Projectile hairballing."

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

Great mouser!

'Who are you and what do you want?'

'…and remember, son - every now and then, refuse to eat your dinner no matter how good it looks or how hungry you are. It drives the dumb humans crazy!'

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

Kitty Litter

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

"What I want to eat? That's easy. Anything you don't have."

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

How Grandma's cat cleans those hard to reach places.

'Something tells me Master is trying to teach us a lesson and we should stop eating his goldfish...'

"If you fits, you sits!"

"This place is still warm from the dryer and centrally located near several mouse holes."

The Devil's Advocat

"'Meow' and 'Purr'? It isn't clever and it isn't funny."

The woman who would go home only to feed her stupid cat and change her stupid clothes...