Feisty Elder Gifts

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

Rock on Grandma!

'Oh, to be 75 again!'

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

'Forget it, sonny. My power of attorney is all sorted out.'

At the Old Bikers' Home

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

Elderly tightrope walker.

Whatever

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

Makes me feel young again!

Will hell freeze over?

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

100th Birthday

Exercise Classes for the over 60s - Pottering 8pm.

'Hey! He's wearing shoes!!'

"He's been in there for about three weeks. . . I warned him that he was too old to sit in a seventies bean bag."

'Robots helping seniors.'

This Summer, Come to...Parkway Playland!

'Promise me you'll see someone about your sleepwalking soon.' (OLD MAN WITH ZIMMER FRAME ON BED)

"We're deep in debt and need to balance the budget."

"How dare you be noisy during siesta time, young man!!"

"It'll spell the end of our dirty dancing group."