Feeding Funster Pillows

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

'Superstock'

Police Cow!

Moo! OOM!

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

Oh yeah! It does echo when you moo very loudly!

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

I want to be a lawn!

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

Holy Cow

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

The pen is mightier than the sward.

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

"Do you know what kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

When Cows Discovered Mowers

YAAY! Slam dump!

Diet Cud

I'm turning to the 'Duck' side!

"It's from the E.P.A., they say we have to have a non-smoking section."

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'

'You say he's stubborn, mean, cantankerous, won't take orders, sometimes won't move? Are you talking about your mule or your husband?'

Penfriend

'I'm afraid to a horse a carrot is just a carrot!'

'Alright, who's the wise guy'

Cow Milking Herself.

Cow limbos under electric fence.

"If you say Happy Moo Year one more time I'm going to have to slap you!"