Addicted Funster Pillows

'Bernie. You better have my ashtray by the time I get there!'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

Pirates

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

The TROU of the Baroque

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

"You spoil that boy."

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

The last of the mullet.

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."