Feast Organizer Gifts

"Oy! I didnʻt make enough!"

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Face painting by numbers.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Extra Long-jump

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

Pinata good bags.

"The humans would have really enjoyed this."

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.