Feast Organizer T-Shirts

"Oy! I didnʻt make enough!"

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Face painting by numbers.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

Extra Long-jump

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

"The humans would have really enjoyed this."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

Prize vegetables with rude names.

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

Tenafly International Film Festival