Feast Planner Gifts

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

"If that's all the game thee found, it will have to do. Maybe next year we will find something more suitable for the feast!"

"When you thank god for this meal, put in a good word for your mother too."

Santa Claus's Mail

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Margarita

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

'I hear there is a mighty big turkey in these woods.'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"This one is perfect for Thanksgiving. It comes prestained in cranberry sauce, gravy and pumpkin pie."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Hold it...I've go a reprieve from the Governor!'

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

'Let it go, Amy.'

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"