Fearless Jokester Pillows

'Yes,I'm wearing clean underwear.Why do you ask?'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"Perhaps we should start by addressing your fears."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Pelobong

Men dancing

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"You idiots … we lost!"

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"So tell me about your last poop."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance