Fearless Gifter Gifts

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

How the gift registry should really work

Bagel problems.

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"Sayyy - you've had some work done!"

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

That's what I hate about sole proprietorship. On Boss's Day, nobody gives me a gift.

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

In Tray Out Tray Suspicious Tray

"Christmas is almost here! Remember, it's the greatest happiness to give. And I want all of you to be very happy this year."

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

Stuffed.

Make Your Own

'Gee, thanks pal."

Christmas postie!

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

"It's my Dad's Birthday. Could you gift wrap it?"

A panhandler with a sign that reads "If not me, who? If not now, when?"

While Santa's Hybrid Sled has made environmentalists and animal rights activists happy, there isn't much room left for toys.

The Tramp of Human Rights

"I've brought you a plant to keep you company."

"Don't worry - the dog's out at the moment."

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

'George, come back down before you lose your nerve.'

"Good Grief! He thinks he is Santa Claus!"

"I took the liberty of buying myself a Father's Day gift."

"You know very well what subscription forms."

"Wow! Something to roll in! Thanks!!!"

santa claus megaphone.