Practical Gifter Gifts

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

'What do you mean 'can I include receipts with all the gifts for easy return?' '

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

How the gift registry should really work

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

Bagel problems.