Practical Gifter Gifts

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

'What do you mean 'can I include receipts with all the gifts for easy return?' '

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Birthday Racing Car

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

Valentines Balloons

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

A feminist Christmas.

How the gift registry should really work

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

Santa's Out Tray.

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'