Practical Gifts Gifts

'How come you never carry the money clip I got you for your birthday?' 'The quarters keep falling out.'

'Now a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers.'

"I thought you'd like something useful this year."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Christmas Presents.

Santa called but you were out!

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

'They were all out of roses.'

Valentines Day truck

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

The Authentic Christmas.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

How the gift registry should really work

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

The girl with the sensible shoes.

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

Mall of ages

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."