Practical Purchases Gifts

'The old one fell apart.'

Selling lemon latt�

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

The girl with the sensible shoes.

Mall of ages

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

'It makes a cutting edge fashion statement, plus it has room for a gas mask and compact bio hazard suit.'

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

I should have known the romance was gone from our relationship when...

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

High end of the market...

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

In a Quandary

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

Purchasing and Sales

"That one is non-wash. Also no ironing is required."

'Now a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers.'

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

"I'm ordering some hot lingerie online...Relax romeo, it's thermal underwear."

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."

The wedding-day - fourteenth anniversary.

'Next year could I just have the chocolates!'

It was too late to retract her bid. Catherine had purchased the small man on the motorbike'

'You knew I was an impulse shopper when you married me!'

'I know it's the thought that counts - what were you thinking?'

"With the cost of heating oil at an all-time high, perhaps you now regret exchanging those sensible Christmas sweaters for the fleeting amusement of toys."