Practical Solutions Gifts

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

Environmentalist Brainstorm

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

Reasonableman

"I need a simple fix. No one asked you to reinvent the wheel."

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

"What would happen if you put down your weapon and tried to work things out peacefully?"

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

The girl with the sensible shoes.

'The old one fell apart.'

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

I know you're a starving writer, but is paper really that expensive?

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Man reading in lamp

"Using a female in hear helps to round up stray dogs!"

In a Quandary

'Our new multi-syringe will take care of all your allergies in one fell swoop.'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

'Now a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers.'

'Go ahead and laugh! But I haven't had a mosquito near me in years.'

'I'm knitting a cozy for the house.'

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

"That's Terri and Kip. . . our Imaginators. And over here is Al. He's our Get-real-inator."

CBD Oil for Neurotics

Back scratcher

'Never mind all that stuff! Can you see somewhere to park next tuesday?'

"I'm ordering some hot lingerie online...Relax romeo, it's thermal underwear."