Practical Gifts T-Shirts

'How come you never carry the money clip I got you for your birthday?' 'The quarters keep falling out.'

'Now a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers.'

"I thought you'd like something useful this year."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Christmas Presents.

Santa called but you were out!

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

'They were all out of roses.'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

The Authentic Christmas.

Valentines Day truck

Happy Valentine's.

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

How the gift registry should really work

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

Mall of ages

A gift for me? It's a cape because I think you're a superhero!

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

The girl with the sensible shoes.

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.