Practical Gift Chooser T-Shirts

"What should we get your mother for her birthday? - How about travelers' checks?"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Santa called but you were out!

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

Bad gifts

Regifts of the Magi

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

Valentines Day truck

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

"I have to cancel our plans. I feel a headache coming on."

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

I should have known the romance was gone from our relationship when...

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

Can you guess what it is yet?

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

"I'm sorry, but until you tell me what you do want for Christmas, you'll keep on getting cats."

Gift Ideas. What I get for a man who already has everything? Insurance!

Santa relaxes by Fire

'What can you suggest for a young lady who thinks she has everything?'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

'Now a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers.'

'Dear, this is gift shop number 3. You now owe me 1 bait & tackle, 1 hardware store, and a bar.'

"Just tell us what wedding gifts you want and we stuff the appropriate advertising flyers in with the invitation."

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

The wedding-day - fourteenth anniversary.

"I want to travel the world, bringing home ugly little trinkets."