Practical Gear T-Shirts

'I'm looking for a pocket camera,a pocket watch, a pocket diary, a pocket...'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Sport Utility Boot.

Cricket Accidents.

Utility Chic.

'The old one fell apart.'

Wet weather footwear - shoes that are shaped like boats.

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

'I've only packed essentials! CD player, hair dryer, eight new tops and a sun lamp.'

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

'Now a romantic gift is a new robe and slippers.'

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.

A skateboarder falling on his head

'Is the new chip really that fast, or do you just like wearing all the safety gear?'

"Pssst! Interested in women's clothes with actual real pockets?"

'So, I understand you were a sniper in the service.'

Safety wear for the hunted.

'Obsolete: Any state of the art equipment you bought last year for $250,000.'

'I traded mine in for a bicycle helmet!'

"So I lost my bicycle helmet, what about it?"

Cyclist

Man carrying umbrella in his sword holder.

A Swiss Army Soldier.

Survivalists' supplies: The customer's always right wing.

"And a Richard Whiteley jacket. In case you get into trouble and need to attract attention."

"Roll bar."

'Steve hates getting ticks.'

'Soldier, how long have you had that camouflage in your helmet?'

"It's not porn, it's a Massey Ferguson 6700 S with 200 HP."

"You've got a beautiful set-up. Too bad you didn't leave room for the bride and groom."

Man takes off a crash test dummy mask, and explains: 'I wear it when I'm driving, you should see people get out of my way!'

'How come you never carry the money clip I got you for your birthday?' 'The quarters keep falling out.'