Fearless Funster Gifts

'Dennis it doesn't have to be like this, we can cancel the dental appointment if you like.'

Cheeze Wiz.

"It's a complicated time for needle phobics."

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"It's from the E.P.A., they say we have to have a non-smoking section."

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

This next song is about facing your fears, which I'll be playing on the ukulele.

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

Person playing the cymbals.

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

Church: Built by Guilt.

'...And the meek shall receive a huge bailout!'

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Arnie's career is cut short by a beanball! (man sits at desk).

"Straw, sticks and bricks are in aisle seventeen. Wolf repellent is in aisle four."

The Cheshire Dog.

"Oh, stop whining - you knew this was just a dental practice."

"As it says in Matthew 26-40, 'So, you had not the strength to stay awake with me ONE hour?'"

"There's one thing that scares me at Halloween."

"Hang on Gary, I think our Tracy's having an Epiphany!"

"John, how are you gonna Baptize me when you throw like a girl?"

'I do wish you would stop asking for change back when they pass the plate.'

'Hello, is that over-eaters anonymous?'

'Are you sure you followed the pattern right?'

"We thank you, Lord, for bestowing your blessings upon us. But, hey - who made that virus?"

Resistance.