Fantasy Funster Gifts

Cheeze Wiz.

Dwarf brothers plunder yard-gnomes for their clothing....

The Cheshire Dog.

'Hello, is that over-eaters anonymous?'

"Straw, sticks and bricks are in aisle seventeen. Wolf repellent is in aisle four."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Pirates

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

"You spoil that boy."

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

The TROU of the Baroque

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."