Fear Anecdote Collector Pillows

"You're not exactly what I was looking for either."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

Newton discovers surrealism

"No, I'm scarier."

A frog catches an insect truck.

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"There, there, dear. It's perfectly normal for a new bride on her wedding night to shit like a goose on her husband."

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

Ned thinks back to his youth.

"You scared me half to death. That's 4.5 lives!"

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

"Ha, ha, wait … so Cheryl from accounting, ha, ha, ha, is your, ha, ha, wife?!!"

That always happens when you look at that damn watch!

"Beware of everything."

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

"You'll be sorry Charles!"

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

'I did it at the skill centre'

"...then my date shows up early and I'm still covered in mud. So embarrassing."

'I'm afraid Luke didn't hit it off very well with daddy.'

'The danger of similar packaging.'

'She says she got into it back at a carnival in Johnstown, Pennsylvania!'

"Sure, the cow jumped over the moon, and he also burned up on re-entry."

"I told you leaving that clip-on tie was a mistake."

"Describe yourself in 3 words."