Phobia Collector Pillows

Little Shop of Horrors

"No, I'm scarier."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Dead Funny

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Monster Baseball

"Pencil eraser."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"Mr. Carley, would you like to begin today’s session?" "Claustrophobic's therapy session today at 2:00"

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

What's Their Secret?

'Dr. Wit specializes in treating patients with a fear of low places.'

'How old is this vase?'

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

Death By Mattress

'You get to see the countryside, meet interesting characters and relax traveling this way. Besides, I'm scared of flying.'

"I wish I had known you have arachnophobia before I paid."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"You're right - organs do look more festive in these cute mason jars."