Fear Anecdote Collector T-Shirts

"You're not exactly what I was looking for either."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

Newton discovers surrealism

"No, I'm scarier."

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'

A frog catches an insect truck.

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"There, there, dear. It's perfectly normal for a new bride on her wedding night to shit like a goose on her husband."

"Ha, ha, wait … so Cheryl from accounting, ha, ha, ha, is your, ha, ha, wife?!!"

"You scared me half to death. That's 4.5 lives!"

Frankenstein Collectibles: Buyer Beware

Ned thinks back to his youth.

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

That always happens when you look at that damn watch!

"Beware of everything."

Carrie White

'I did it at the skill centre'

Zit: Pus based life-form whose main habitat is the teenage face. Normally peaceable, but he can react violently if threatened.

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

"You'll be sorry Charles!"

Angel's cloud is leaking

"...then my date shows up early and I'm still covered in mud. So embarrassing."

'I'm afraid Luke didn't hit it off very well with daddy.'

'She says she got into it back at a carnival in Johnstown, Pennsylvania!'

'The danger of similar packaging.'

"Sure, the cow jumped over the moon, and he also burned up on re-entry."

"I told you leaving that clip-on tie was a mistake."