Childhood Anecdote Collector T-Shirts

'Look see? There's viola! Don't look right at her!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Green Balloon

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part Five

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

Newton discovers surrealism

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

'Cheese.'

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she sees it."

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

"We never have any activities that make for cute anecdotes anymore."

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'All hail the queen of static electricity!'

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

"Ohhh...I guess you feel slightly uncomfortable....Do you want to talk about it?"

'One medium curds-and-whey pizza for a Miss Muffet?'

Ok, who told him to stick his tongue on the iceberg?

"You heard me. This is it. We had a three-picture deal."

"Lassie is merely billed as America's best-loved dog."

"The dish and the spoon? Huh. I did not see that coming."

I've heard that you've beaten the Hare, so I've come to challenge you...

Empty Nest.

"No, cruel nature, WHY?"

'My composition is 'parental discipline and what we can do about it'.'

On Display At The Children's House Of Horrors