Awkward Story Collector Pillows

"There, there, dear. It's perfectly normal for a new bride on her wedding night to shit like a goose on her husband."

"...then my date shows up early and I'm still covered in mud. So embarrassing."

Ghost puddle

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

"It's not what you think."

Who's Dead

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'

'I've been knocking for ages!'

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

A Ghost

A frog catches an insect truck.

Updated Fables. The Ant And The Grasshopper … And The Mosquito. IRS.

I told you I lost it in the sun.

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

'Yes, he did turn into a price, but there were complications.'

Floods leave man and ghost stranded.

"You are so lucky I keep kosher."

"Gentlemen, this is Mr. Griscom, Super Films' new horror expert."

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

Home Sweet Home

'I've known you a long time and it's time I told you the truth, I'm not really a person, I'm just a suit full of chickens..'

Homeless man's sign: 'Will sell book & movie rights to the story of my downfall for a cool million.'

Prompts on the Antiques Roadshow.

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Carrie White

'This one belonged to a little old lady with weak eyes.'

"Ow! Rotten stinking sky!!"

Food & Spirits.

"We met online."