Fatherhood Hero Pillows

"It's different when they're your own."

"It will not be much?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Babies vs. Dogs

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I miss the Augean stables."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Acclaimed mother.

Father

Miracle Mom #5,293

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

JAMES BONDING

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Dad's home

'Mother will catch you!'

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

"I mean, he does have a point."

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"Can you wangle me some parental leave?"

"Just be proud we're the first father-son ice dancing team."

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

Baby Shower

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"

The day after Father's Day.

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I'm not giving you a lift. If you want to run away from home, run.'

'Here's your choice. Grounded for a week or a walk around the Mall with me while I wear this.'

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

'A rocking horse? Boy! What will they think of next?!'

"Dad, if Mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he's just like you."

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

Fathers Saluting Each Other.