Father-teen Dynamics Fan Pillows

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

A child as a pet substitute.

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

Boy on father's knee

"Ben, forget... what... I'd said about... plastics!"

"We need to have a serious talk."

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'You can't keep rescuing him. If he really wants help, book him an appointment.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'