Parent-teacher Dynamic Fan Pillows

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

A child as a pet substitute.

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"We need to have a serious talk."

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

You never caw.

Well, obviously we can't live with my parents

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't tell your Dad about the Easter Bunny till next year."

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"Here are all of my dependents."

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

Audience with the Parent

"This cat has got to go on a diet...he weighs 78 pounds!"

Mom's Mortuary

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'