Family Dynamics Fan Pillows

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"I feel like we've grown apart."

'I was very upset when I found my son smoking a whole bag of pot by himself... I've always taught him to share.'

'Oh crap, it's my mother.'

'You want to speak to the head of the household? There is no head of the household. My parents are into shared decision making.'

'Used to be cute as a button. Now he's just a pain in the button.'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

A baby meets his new freaky family. Please don't be looking at me...

'Must you take your work home with you?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"My family never went in for therapy but then my family wasn't nuts."

Five Fundamental Forces

"Quit blaming your mother. And get your feet off the couch."

"I was looking at you. I didn't know you wanted me to listen, too."

'Carry mother in first.'

'I'm not sure that this degree of competition is entirely healthy.'

'It breaks a father's heart when his son is less successful than him. Heh, heh.'

"He's the black sheep of the family."

'Hi Craig. Its Tanya. Remember me? Spring break?... Cancun?... And that one crazy,wonderful night of unbridled night of passion? Yeah, well there's someone you should meet.'

"Dad, Mum thinks it's time you knew I'm gay"

Therapy Camp

"Your more successful brother is already here."

"I don't blame you for everything - I blame Dad for some things, too."

Going back for the Holidays

"You're really nice, Richard. I was hoping I could fix you up with my mom."

"Why did you speak to Dad? He can't green-light anything."

"Have you got any cash on you?"

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Mom's Mortuary

"I think the lodger's settling in."

"She's just like her mother!"