Fasting Adventurer Gifts

"Closed. Out to fast."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Anti-inflammation recipes

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Sisyphus Sawyer

International House of Excrement

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

'New Barbeque.'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Odd Spas

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

"This is our corporate evaluation pond. If you can survive a 15 minute swim, then you are management material."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"During Lent we must share with poor children what we have in abundance."

"Why have you brought me here?"

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

A woman reads a romance novel.

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

'Every time you eat lotus, an hour later you forget.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Obese Hansel and Grettle

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

The only sound preventative health advice for holiday eating.

'Did you know that cereal is the only thing with a prize in it?!'