Fast-acting Beverage Fan Gifts

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Starvation Watching

"Fridge-to-table"

A complimentary biscuit

'What kind of...'

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

Hipster Coffee

"Yeah, you win! I only have five prehensile limbs myself..."

We flushed your arteries, checked your fluids, and topped off your AB positive, but look at this kidney - When's the last time you had it replaced?

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

"The following story is based on a Netflix original series, from a book published by Amazon.com."

Whale Blowing Bubbles.

Netflix Award Show

'Inflatable boat Fred!'

'Whatever he's drinking.'

Let the good times roll.

"This is why I like my wine chilled."

"Hello Cleveland! I have to say, never thought I'd have a Netflix special seeing as Gerbils only live about 3 to 4 years!"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

Taxi

'Do you think I'm conceited?' 'No,why?' 'Girls that are pretty and intelligent sometimes are conceited.'

'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'

Hamster bartender

Pub Painting

'You don't say! I'm a 'hydrantologist' myself.'

Tea Shirt

Medusa, first thing in the morning.

Cocktails for dogs

"I lost 15 lbs fasting!"

Michael Douglas

Wrestlers versus firemen at the scene of a fire.

'I'm not sure but I think the four basic food groups are frozen, canned, junk and take out.'

'Here's to the frozen food aisles at the supermarket!'

This is the new chicken product, poulet ding! I suppose the 'ding' is the sound of the microwave.