Fast-acting Beverage Fan Pillows

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Fridge-to-table"

A complimentary biscuit

Hipster Coffee

'What kind of...'

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

"Yeah, you win! I only have five prehensile limbs myself..."

Whale Blowing Bubbles.

'Inflatable boat Fred!'

'Whatever he's drinking.'

Netflix Award Show

Let the good times roll.

"This is why I like my wine chilled."

Taxi

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

'Do you think I'm conceited?' 'No,why?' 'Girls that are pretty and intelligent sometimes are conceited.'

'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'

Wrestlers versus firemen at the scene of a fire.

'You don't say! I'm a 'hydrantologist' myself.'

Hamster bartender

Cocktails for dogs

Pub Painting

Tea Shirt

"I lost 15 lbs fasting!"

Medusa, first thing in the morning.

Michael Douglas

'I'm not sure but I think the four basic food groups are frozen, canned, junk and take out.'

"Peanut butter sandwich. Instant pudding. TV dinner. Canned soup. This is home-style cooking."

This is the new chicken product, poulet ding! I suppose the 'ding' is the sound of the microwave.

'Here's to the frozen food aisles at the supermarket!'