Fashionable Fighter Pillows

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

Mod Kwan Doh

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"How's it look back there?"

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

'Does my bum look big in this?'

The Surly Yoof

Man with Sword in Penholder

'Steady Lulu, steady, ...HEEL!' - The Rare Poodle Retriever.

'I may be 40 years old, but I have the student debt of a 20 year old.'

Ass-less Chaps

An man with an axe removes tattoos.

'Hey you take that outside.'

The Moth Menace.

Umbrella fight.

'- but I didn't think it meant a two-made-into one-suit, dammit!'

"£100 spot fine...er, because we don't like your face."

Saville Row surprise

This Spring's Girl will be a warrior type, a survivor.

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

"Whoa, Fred!! Where'd you get that ridiculous shirt??!"

The Real War On Christmas

'The sport's still a mystery to me. I just found out that I look great in uniform.'

"It was a freezing winter night & I could hardly see a thing. Luckily, I was wearing my Fluorescent thong."

'Careful Sid. They may be comfortable but you'll look ridiculous.'

You're getting cheaper, Armstrong. I'm getting more efficient. It's the American way. Businesses have to keep growing profits to satisfy their investors. The innovative entrepreneur finds ways to grow sales while constantly cutting costs. By giving customers used straws. They're broken in.

'Going into sudden death overtime is serious business with these teams.'

“Ever thought of changing your name?”

"Great speech, general. Poor choice of uniform."

"What are you wearing under your kilt?"

"My family has no idea what my personality would be like without yoga."

No-no-no! I said a PUNK rocker!!"

"I am here on behalf of a concerned caller, why are you wearing shorts in winter?"